my oh my

BILL POST < 3
my fav singer
the most sexy singer
one of the only guys who gets away with eyeliner and tattoos and pircings
< 3
the guy who wrote the mucic that saved my life a yr ago < 3

Cleaning room

BEFORE

AFTER
since when did cleaning turn in to such a port for me
xoxo

Lots of things

First pay check arrived in bank today im £120 richer :) of course i blured / colour my detalies lol im no dumb :P heheheheh

went to camden to get some pretty portuguese bracelts some columbian man makes he had one with pereira :D i could help but get it
heheheheh

Moi today what i wore the top had to sew it in the morning
and strighten my hair today :D i liked it but its uber tin but iv always had fine hair so lol
i swaer i dont look western europen i look eastern but im not lol
portuguese and proud lol :)

My soung of the momnet also in tube station some man was singing cold play < 3
nobody said it was easy felt really romantic lol hahahha
anyhoo will blog later
xoxo

:) doesnt bother me

been working two weeks
i no all the kids names and they no mine
i like the people i work with and have made some really good friends :)
which is good lol
also the money is good and gonna help
so very happy with work atm :D
in life should be going camden with ana and mon tomorow yay havent been out with my boos in forever
hmm got my monox enrolment letter have a good day and a great time ;)
getting eexcited for my holiday less then two weeks hehe
and finaly relised i dont care what you say or think of me infact yur opinuone really doesnt intrest me in the slightlest so :) yh dont share it with me
okay now iv made dinner and eaten it gonna do some excreisise later and then have bath can sleep in tomorow as its my day off heheh yay and yh will blog laterr
pics of sunset a couple of days ago photography
xoxo

fly away

future wedding song prehapss lol < 3

:D

IM SO EXCITEDDDD
xoxo
woopwoop

LIFE

i have 16 followersss
Woooww thanksss <3 xxx feel free to comentt :D

wachthed this film today and this scene is totally inspirational
im soo glade that i finisehd hight school/ secondary and relised this befroe it was to late
its better to be true to yourself then lye to impress others
and figure out who you r then letting other dicide for u
i just hope others relise this too
alsoooo
had a boring sunday and saturday only few days till my holiday
i will miss you
< 3

workk

MY work outfit
cant belive i actually have a summer job :D
heheh the apron is anoying and it can get hot waring it but iv gotton used to it
i now love water working has got me addicted to it
yay

moi atm
< 3

save me

Songs that save me
every single day
:'(

beautiful dirty dirty rich rich

:/

Just a litle food for thought

I guess im big enought to say
im jelouse of you
i envy you
and i dont even no why
you happy now

:/

LIFE

i have a summer job
then i have a summer holiday
will hang with friends as much as posible
and am 99.9% sure
life its good
< 3
i love convos that r so indepth with someone
where you feel u can tell them anything :D

xoxo
;D

maby theirs a shark in the water

im afraid you may not want me
Just hug me < 3

P.s been reading "lucy in the sky" this book totally reminds me off my life
errhhh its difficult life is
and i feel im wasiiting it slowly by not saying a few simple words

:D HOLIDAY :D

my summer holiday finaly got booked yesterday
were going to medeira :D
which wll be a change from portugal
as long as we can get my dads permistion letter sorted we should be good
:D we have the mothers on e already and hopefuly by the 4th of august we will have dads one :D
gonna miss dad 10 days with no parents :D
woooohoooo
ohh yh then summer can finaly begin
woopwoop i hope to get a tan my main focuse i want to come back with ligthr hair :D coz sun naturally ligthens mine and with dark sunkissed skin woohooooo
totmorw i should be going to a cemitary opening with kay and louis to take photography pics for collage...
gonna need to make sure i get them all printed in advance as well and fill my ema form and my oyster form out before i go

hoildays is booked for 12th on august till 22nd of august 10 days back in time for results arund 24th :D and enrollment with my bestiesss < 3
xoxo

i went searching for my heart the other day and found that it was gone.
maybe i hid it away so well that it disappeared to another place where lost things go.
like that room in hogwarts?
Or maybe locked away in this airless casket it suffocated and died.

Now they call me fake
flirt
cold
slut
but how can i help it when i don't trust any of them.

how can i give away my heart when i don't think i even have one.
their a deeper side of YOU
xoxo

after my bath

me wet hair after me bath :)

my pjs for today im cold had to cover up

love my orange leg warmers :D

Thursday

had a good day to day
went with ana to give in job app
then meet kay and insted f central went to mine
wacthed tv and ate lunch
then went off to exsplor camden
i spotted another celeb katai ivonan from celb BB in camden market smoking
totally random
after that came home wacthed some more good tv
im thinking of what dvd i can watch today
no chick flick hopefully will just depress me
unless its twlight or something may cheer me up
i sometimes wonder why i can give people love life advice so easlily but why i cant take it my self
why i cant just say it
saying it would make things so much easyer or maby so much more complicated
but i want him to say it first
Just SAY it
xoxo

< 3

< 3

BE MINE (this time is ours)

Went to see Eclispe again today
a film well worth watching 100 times over
:D went with louis his sister sam their cousins and kay :D was very fun
got the soung Ours Bravery from eclipse playing ATM :D
in other news some of the qoutoes in eclipse and some of the scenes are so romantic i love it
i really wish life could be that romatic
its not all about the looks and money and cars a guy has
but about the way they make you feel when your with them
the way they complete you
i really think the 20th centry lacks that kind of emotion :S
I want a guy to tell me that gravity stops when he looks at me
< 3
hmm in other news some job news came about today not sure what to do bout that atm :S
hmm soon will start collage :'( i hate growing up
any hoo will blog later

its hard being so close to you and never having you

MUSIC

love this band thanks miss tompkins :) for intorducing mee

tuesday 13th july 2010

photography pic ^^

so i sometimes feel like i live in a hotel got my morning cal from ana today lol whic woke me up at 10 :D ehehhe.. then got ready ate brekky and went to lunch with ana .... hmm now im back home iv eaten lunch and now im tiredd lol wacthing tv... i hope when monnie comes home a dvd sounds good to here :) hehehe.. i in the mood to wacth eclipse again dispite having seen it in the cinima... may search for it online woop :) .... soo hmm now im considering what dvd to watch harry potter again XD or something eles ill have a look ina bit... ill blog later soo for now
xoxo

BRAVE PURE AND TRUE RIGHT TILL THE VERY END

THIS is taken from lelove blog
i think its so sad and true and pure
i like reading that blog coz it opens my eyes helps me undersatand things that i cant exspain


i can't. i can't i can't i can't.

i can't do this anymore. its going to kill me. i just can't. i need to move on.
but.
i can't stop loving him. i can't and i need to because its the worst thing ever.
i can't because thinking of everything that happened literally makes me sick to my stomach.
i can't because he's the only one i ever think about.
he's the one i don't want to think about, but i cannot stop.
i can't because i never got to kiss him, i never felt his breath between my lips.
i can't because i spend my days fantasizing about him surprising me,
showing up on my doorstep, telling me he made a mistake.
i can't because i see her everyday.
i see her and i think of what they used to have and i agonize over whether he chose her.
i can't because i don't even know if he chose her.
i don't even know because he is so confusing and frustrating
and he makes everything so unclear.
i can't because he might still have feelings for me.
there is that sliver of a chance and while i know its probably not true,
it makes it impossible to let go.
i can't because i think about being in his arms every second.
the hairs of his beard brushing my cheek gently.
the feeling of his warmth beneath my fingers.
i can't because the way our fingers intertwined was perfect.
it felt warm and soft and right.
i can't because he understood me.
he just got me, right from the start.
and i don't find that often. not often at all.
i can't because we would be perfect together.
i know we would. and it's too hard for me to give up on that.
i can't because EVERYTHING makes me think of him.
crayons. tattoos. band tees. school buses. nose rings.
and every time i see them im completely overwhelmed.
i can't because i practically start crying in the middle of the gym when a song comes on that makes me think of him. which is a lot of songs.
i can't because i've tried and it doesn't work. i want to stop so much.
its just not going to happen.
i can't because i don't see other guys. i don't even see them as being guys.
its like they don't exist to me now.
i can;t because i imagined our insane, amazing, beautiful future and it's all i want.
i thought it was really going to happen and now the pain is eating me up.
i can't because i want him more than i've ever wanted anything in my life.

i can't breathe. i can't focus. i can't be without him. i can't go the rest of my life wondering what it would have been like.

i just can't.
xoxo

will post soon hopefully with some pics :)

monday 12th july 2010

SO today its monday :D and i have no school and frankly im kinda missing it :S
oh well collage soon should make me feel better... its wereied that i sart collage in less thn two months i thnik :s worried bout my results as well now an the places for the course i chosse sillyly i need to fix three no londer want to do citizenship or english lan need to hange it to photography and english lit :) hopeful that all works out... if not ill just go down the path giving me :) bored atm wacthing home and away XD love itt blogg laterrr <3

SUMMER 2010

woooo i is tanning alreadyy woop woop

xoxo
LOVE FUN SUMMER < 3

just wanted to know

i wanted to know
i wanted to know why my heart tourcherd it self daliy
re-reading your messages... looking at your photographs
laugthing at our memories and crying at our departures
i wanted to know
if when you complimented and flirted with me
why it gave me such an illuminated feeling
why your words like empty promises so light hearted and freindly
were takn so seriosely by my fagile heart
i wanted to know
if your cool calm exsterior was just a barrior up to stop you loveing
if your way of behaving was because you wernt ready for love
or because you hadnt even considered it
or maby becasue you loved somebody else other then me
i wanted to know
if i was waisting my time pondering over lost feelings
that gently re enterd my soul as i looked in to your eyes
if it was worth the figth i was killing my self over
if you saw me as an angel like i saw you
i just wanted to know

too souls collide

HEHEHEH SEXYSET TWINS ALIVE :)

okay so today i went park will upload pics later XD hehehehhe
and got burnt but now its going brown XD woop woop
(I MISS YOU)
and now im gonna finish wacthing the fottie germanys winning atm
then ima have a bath
then maby wacth another potter movie
i love ron and hermione too cute XD
xoxo

PROM LEAVERSSSS

i finally reached a new level of maturity in my life and i can wait... no matter how long it takes ... i can wait for "IT" to find me and I'm proud to say i no one day "IT" will XD ♥

maby it already has
< 3

hmmm

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”
xoxo

:)late at night

okay finaly got all my prom stuff ready..... down to fine detailes lol proms thursaday as well as leavers woop woop :'( gonna cry actualy dont want it to eng.. at lest my 3 fav people r coming to collage with mee so XD life will be okay,.. cant imagin what it be like going to a collage alone without anyone you noo :S must be scaryy any hoo hort post gotta get dressed am wriign this in a towle lmaoo had good day today in camden with kay shoppign for kay prom stuff and finale bits and bobs
xoxo

HE DID THE MASH

BOOTH DAY

WENT PHOTOBOOTH IN WEST END TODAY LOVED IT

cycle

< 3

well lifes odd :S

well lifes odd sometimes
today went shoppign at sansburys
now gonna go fill my new coubord no longer shring with monnie
woop woop
xoxo

tireddd :O yawnnnnnnnnn

Hmm random pic of my make up bag
need to do a clear out dont use half the crap in theirr
loll so atmm :) im happpyyyyy (for sertain reasons to stupid to write XD llol < 3)
but im however tired and hungryyy
all the claring out has me tired...
put the trash ut in hight healed boots and a trnch coat look like i had nohing on undernethe loll
ahahahah had the pervey garage man lookin :P
will post pic of it later
hheheheheh

xoxo

You Said Forever And Always < 3

listening to taylor swift < 3
forever and always

Don't say you know me,because i'm not the same person that i used to be

The circumstances were all wrong, but you and I were right.
< 3

what i did yesterday :)

Spent the day with lili yesterday pic after pizza hut... anan had to rush off to work we stayed their for 3 hours talking :) love me and lilis convoss she always helps and shes a good listinerrr

BNQ paint section i helped lili chosse colours for her housee

BNQ lamp section was so brigth they must pay a hight eletricale bill XD

above is mois outfit of the day hehhehe and then below is one of my many prom ideas after some help from lili i now have prom hair dicided :) woohooo saw a pic of some girls prom and she had same dress as mee.. :'( dif colour hope theirs not a repert on night of my prom xoxo

:/

Talking to my mother depresses me :(