Want a personal soilder...

I'll be your hero whose standing strong
Who protects you from any fight
And if your battles are piling on
I will take them on with all my might
Cry your tears on my shoulder
You don't know what the future holds
So I'll be your personal soldier
....

i think that is what any girl wants a guy who she knows will protect her no matter what
fight her battels, do her no wrong, i mean if tradition is something to go by it should be the guy
who does everything, makes her feel special, treat her right
Well i know its all i want i want a personal solider
who i love and who loves me back
and insted of him just fighting my battels
i wuld help him fight his
and that way we could protect each other
but thats just what i want
but iv learned that most of the time you dont get what you want in life
not becasue you were afraid to go for it
but becasue you were afraid to have it
for something so beautiful to actualy be yours as much as you try to protect it you break it in the prossecess, by smothering it in to much care and love
so my advice for myself would be to just say what ever i feel when i feel it
because at least that way im being honest with myself
So
I Love you

its not that hard once you can say it to your self
you can learn to say it to others
i guess thats my issue
i could never say it to myself
so how could i believe that you ment it
and mean it but i can now
im worth loving
i know that

If heart ache was a physical pain
i could face it i could face it
but your hurting me from inside of my mind
i can't take it
i can't take it
im gonna loss my mind





Trying to replace your heart

=)

A Poem i saw and thougth was beautiful, just had to share on my blog as when i read something i love i tend to forget it this way i wont :) Enjoy .......

I live through my dark existence
only to bask in your beauty
your eyes that shine like sapphires
your smile that brightens even my sad existence
I envy the wind that runs through your hair
that touches your lips
I long to touch you
to hold you in my arms but I cannot
for your heart belongs to another
so, I can only love you from afar
your friendship means more to me
than anything this world provides
but like an angel you touched my heart
in a way that I've never felt before
cause I've never known what love is until this day
I know that we are only friends
but my heart wishes it to be more
so I will still hope and dream
that one day I can feel your lips pressed to mine
to hold you in my arms and say, "I love you"

a wise man once sad

i wise man once said
"hold on to your self
you need to in a world thats always trying to
make you someone eles"

So today had been another day at college, arived early in time to grab a coffie before lesson, that coffie helped... Suprisingly... photography was good i really improved on my skech book today when i have alout on my mind i tend to either zone out and do no work and sit their in a mindless pit of sympathy for my self, or i tend to go over work laod crazy and it helps my mind keep off the problem... today was an over work day.

So after photography had english. oh tht lesson and its sexsual refrences. how can changining a hourse hoffs be like bending down and kissing your lover :/ man modern day poetry is exstremaly ermmm vivid =p

so after english went hom with just louis, then got home cleaned see what i mena about work mode... cleaned all the dishes and kichen then cleaned all the trash cans. Then i wacthed an episod of tree hill miss that show

so now i sit here, thinking again as usual i know i shouldnt it is bad for me and it dosent help but alas i am only human and i can only be human soo :/ ...

will blog later hopefully, with soething more cheerful not so depresing or Bleghhh and some pictures to hopefully

xoxo

i went searching for my heart the other day and found that it was gone.
maybe i hid it away so well that it disappeared to another place where lost things go.
like that room in hogwarts?
Or maybe locked away in this airless casket it suffocated and died.

Now they call me fake
flirt
cold
slut
but how can i help it when i don't trust any of them.

how can i give away my heart when i don't think i even have one.
their a deeper side of YOU
xoxo

BRAVE PURE AND TRUE RIGHT TILL THE VERY END

THIS is taken from lelove blog
i think its so sad and true and pure
i like reading that blog coz it opens my eyes helps me undersatand things that i cant exspain


i can't. i can't i can't i can't.

i can't do this anymore. its going to kill me. i just can't. i need to move on.
but.
i can't stop loving him. i can't and i need to because its the worst thing ever.
i can't because thinking of everything that happened literally makes me sick to my stomach.
i can't because he's the only one i ever think about.
he's the one i don't want to think about, but i cannot stop.
i can't because i never got to kiss him, i never felt his breath between my lips.
i can't because i spend my days fantasizing about him surprising me,
showing up on my doorstep, telling me he made a mistake.
i can't because i see her everyday.
i see her and i think of what they used to have and i agonize over whether he chose her.
i can't because i don't even know if he chose her.
i don't even know because he is so confusing and frustrating
and he makes everything so unclear.
i can't because he might still have feelings for me.
there is that sliver of a chance and while i know its probably not true,
it makes it impossible to let go.
i can't because i think about being in his arms every second.
the hairs of his beard brushing my cheek gently.
the feeling of his warmth beneath my fingers.
i can't because the way our fingers intertwined was perfect.
it felt warm and soft and right.
i can't because he understood me.
he just got me, right from the start.
and i don't find that often. not often at all.
i can't because we would be perfect together.
i know we would. and it's too hard for me to give up on that.
i can't because EVERYTHING makes me think of him.
crayons. tattoos. band tees. school buses. nose rings.
and every time i see them im completely overwhelmed.
i can't because i practically start crying in the middle of the gym when a song comes on that makes me think of him. which is a lot of songs.
i can't because i've tried and it doesn't work. i want to stop so much.
its just not going to happen.
i can't because i don't see other guys. i don't even see them as being guys.
its like they don't exist to me now.
i can;t because i imagined our insane, amazing, beautiful future and it's all i want.
i thought it was really going to happen and now the pain is eating me up.
i can't because i want him more than i've ever wanted anything in my life.

i can't breathe. i can't focus. i can't be without him. i can't go the rest of my life wondering what it would have been like.

i just can't.
xoxo

will post soon hopefully with some pics :)

PROM LEAVERSSSS

i finally reached a new level of maturity in my life and i can wait... no matter how long it takes ... i can wait for "IT" to find me and I'm proud to say i no one day "IT" will XD ♥

maby it already has
< 3

hmmm

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”
xoxo

cycle

< 3

You Said Forever And Always < 3

listening to taylor swift < 3
forever and always

Don't say you know me,because i'm not the same person that i used to be

The circumstances were all wrong, but you and I were right.
< 3

weres my happy ending

DROWNING

If i was drowning would you hold on

or let me fall
xoxo

longgg post :P hhehe

outfit of the day

outfit of day again

moi in the sunny living room :)

outfit i bought yesterday

again

PROM shoes :) hehehe
kk so yesterday went shopping with sazzy :) bougth loads f stuff for prom :)
sazzy also showed me a poem she wrote for me ;') soo sweet love you sazzy and i feel the samee lol

When you HURT me, she gives my arm a squeeze.
When you make me HAPPY she squeals in excitement with me.
When you make me MISS you she makes me remember all the good times we had TOGETHER
She knows how to make me feel better. She just KNOWS
...She's my gift from HEAVEN. She's AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL FUNNY and CARING.She's my best friend
We've both got her to thank ♥

by sazan rasool :)

xoxo
will blog later

moving

it won't work for me
i cant have it like this...

i cant have the waiting and missing you

i cant bare it and i cant even say it
i dont want to be apart from you

xoxo

SWEETNESS

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says 'For the woman I love' and the second, 'For my best friend.'

make it happen ;)

breath me

At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world.
Some are running scared. Some are coming home.
Some tell lies to make it through the day.
Others are just not facing the truth.
Some are evil men, at war with good.
And some are good, struggling with evil.
Six billion people in the world, six billion souls.
And sometimes... all you need is one.

lelove

I feel like I am made of glass. And at any moment, all my pieces could shatter and break. It's always easier to blame other people isn't it? It would be easy to say that he did this to me, that he became such a part of my soul, that his departure from my life sent me spiraling out of control. And maybe to an extent that's true. There's no doubt that I gave my heart to a boy who ran so far away with it that I'm not sure it will ever really come back. But to put all that blame on him would be naive, and I would never want to flatter him in that way. The truth is, I was broken before he came barreling into my life. And now that he's gone, I'm just one step closer to shattering. My problem isn't making someone else fall in love with me, it's falling in love with myself. I've struggled for years to be happy with who I am, and I made the mistake of letting someone else try to make me happy, make me more alive. But how can I fault someone for falling out of love with me, when I have never even loved myself?

xoxo

take from lelove blog XD

taken from LeLove blog

Relationships are delicate. Both people have to be on the same page. Both people have to be at the same point in their lives, wanting the same things. Cant have any doubts or reservations. Do something too early, and you can taint it. Jump in too quick, you can screw things up. Wait too long, it may be too late. There are so many other variables besides who the person is..you have to consider who they are now, who they will be in the future, if you have the potential as a couple to grow together..are you on the same page and will you continue to be?